When Life Throws a Change-Up

When Life Throws a Change-Up

Growing up, I played extremely competitive softball. I was on teams with players who went on to play college, and from age 10-16 we traveled to national and world championships. It was intense! One of my strengths was hitting. However, my teammates would laugh at me when I would get thrown a change-up. A change-up is a pitched ball that all of a sudden, without warning is thrown and it is slow. It’s unlike any other pitches, but it is deceptive as the pitcher still winds up as fast as they can to throw it. I hated change-ups. I would swing at the same speed that I would for fast pitches, expect the same results and be wildly disappointed and sometimes embarrassed. Retrospectively, this is a perfect way to explain life changes, and all the little change-ups that are pitched to you during your career, or day to day life.

To exemplify this, I would like to share a story about how my nursing career began, or almost didn’t. If you are a nurse or know a nurse, you are familiar with the acronym; NCLEX. If not, this is the national exam that all nurse hopefuls must take and pass in order to receive their RN license. When I was a senior in college, I had this brilliant idea to choose a test center that was out of state, but still would give a NH license, so that way I wouldn’t see any peers who might make me nervous seeing them nervous. Also, I planned ahead to have my mom and my then fiancé, now husband to drive with me…they were in the ones in my corner, my coaches, my positive presence I needed. So we took my mom’s mini-van. Now it was smooth sailing, because the way to the center was on the highway and the exit was just up ahead as a left-hand side exit….

ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CAR WOULDN’T ACCELERATE PAST 40 MPH, AND THERE WAS SMOKE.

Despite that the car wouldn’t go past 40 mph, inside my head went from 0 to 60mph fast. “I’m not going to make it”, “My job offer depends on me passing in a certain amount of time, now I won’t have a job”, “Everyone is going to pass but me”, “Even if I make it there I am too stressed now to take it”, “Ohhhhhh noooooooo”! What came out of my mouth was silence. My husband recognized this fearful silence and was reassuring, telling me that we were almost there, and that we had planned plenty of time, so it will be fine.

Sure enough, as he finished reassuring me, we saw that exit on the left hand side. We put our flashers on and carefully moved the car to the left, as the 65mph cars whizzed past. We were the change-up, but we at least had the decency to warn other cars. In my head I screamed, “future nurse in the making people, watch out!”.

We made it off the highway and pulled into a fast-food parking lot. We mapped the test center on the GPS and it was a little under 2 miles. The car once stopped wouldn’t restart now anyways.

So, I walked to my NCLEX.

 

My husband escorted me to my test and wished me luck. Ironically, I think the exercise before the test helped me calm down, and got the blood flowing to my brain. I took the test, was fairly confident in my answers, and obviously I passed.

 

Life has thrown me more change-ups then a broken car on the way to the NCLEX. Nursing has thrown my 3 admissions within one hour, a patient declining when they had plans to go home, missing medications when they are due, a pump that won’t stop beeping, a family that is unhappy and stressed about the condition of their child, and so much more, and so much worse. Yet, despite the facts that change-ups are unpleasant, or that I would prefer the same-old paced pitches of life….they will come. I have accepted that fact. It doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but it intellectually makes it feasible. Expect the unexpected, although there are too many variables in healthcare and human beings to truly be fully prepared to “expect” with 100% truth what will be pitched next. So many new nurses, and students will tell me “I planned my day and had all of my priorities, but I didn’t expect this to happen, and I didn’t expect my plans to not go as well in real life as they did in my head”. It took me a while to be comfortable with having a sense of open expectations, to realize that it’s good to have a framework, but I couldn’t rely on false expectations.

Maybe you won’t hit those change-ups out of the park. Maybe you might even strike out. In the end, and in your life…you have a team around you to pick you up, to cheer for you so that the next time you can get on base. Look that pitcher of life event in the eye, be confident in your abilities, be confident in your resilience, and always know that your team has your back.

~Keep on Caring ♥

 

Nursing Leadership

Recently, I attended a nursing leadership conference (1^st Annual Dartmouth Hitchcock Nursing Leadership Conference). It was awe inspiring to be filled with a room full of nurses who wanted to learn about leadership and how to improve themselves. It excites me when others want to change, and are humble in their reflection that something needs to change.

 

This blog will be about what I “took home” from the conference, and how despite the inspiration, there is still a personal leadership journey in progress. The day started off great, and one of the key points I took was that it was vital to network and to introduce yourself. I’m listening to this advice thinking to myself, “Great! That’s such a vital piece of nursing – networking! I can’t wait to begin”. So what did I do the first break we got? Ran to the bathroom, and then sat back down. I ran right back to that seat, as if someone was going to take my seat in a sea of 200 people and was going to make me sit on the stage or leave the conference. So I checked my phone, looked at my notes, and giggled at the reminder, ‘network’ that I had written down.  Okay, let’s do this! The first group I went to, I had known through my career, and I exchanged some pearls such as “This is just great!”, “Sooo many nurses!”, and “Wow, the weather”. Good one. Nothing says, I am awkward in forced social settings than talking about the weather. I frequently have this dream sequence I play in my head about how I would love to come across as humorous, intelligent, experienced and smooth…. which if I believe these descriptions, they will come to life, but for now I just try to improve.  I vow to get better at this, as in the weather conversation will be banned from my networking repertoire during the next meeting or conference I attend! Baby steps! In all honesty, it was great advice.

Nurses are powerful people, and when you are able to connect those spheres or silos of power – amazing things happen, and insurmountable feats can be overcome.

Self care was a theme woven throughout the day. Why would a conference about leadership include self care? I’ve talked about this before, but you cannot give 100% if you are running on -40%.

Burnout is an ugly dragon, that rears its ugly head despite the fact that you are a good nurse. That fire breathing beast can only be tamed with self awareness and self care.

Put that life jacket on yourself first, before you help others. Don’t roll your eyes because you’ve heard that before and you feel like you still might put it on someone else despite the repetition of this phrase. Take the vacation you need, prioritize exercise, take your 30-minute lunch, listen to rap music…. whatever it takes to battle the burnout dragon, do it before you’re burnt to a crisp, and leave a profession that needs you and your leadership.

Language and communication make a leader. As a nurse, stand tall and let your patient and your family know who you are, and what your role is. You aren’t a passer-by to their care, and you aren’t a servant. What you are is an educated, professional, intelligent, experienced, caring registered nurse who is going to be caring for a patient and their family today. Also, let’s stop demoting the nursing profession, and talking positive. It’s not a badge of honor you get to stick on your badge that what you do is tough work when you tell a nursing student to “run” or to “get out while you can”. No. Nursing is a fantastic career choice. You have options from bedside nursing, to informatics, to education, to preventive care, to everything and anything in-between. In fact, that nursing student may have jumped through some hoops to make it to the point that they are at, yet your remark makes them question everything.

Let us challenge each other not to dissuade the future of healthcare, our critical thinkers, decision makers, clinical champions, but let us revive this comradery spirit in nursing and congratulate those who are about to join us, for joining the best career in the world.

 

           

Patient care and the impact nursing leadership can have on quality outcomes was also a theme. I cannot explain this better than to offer that to be the best nurse leader you can be, to always have a questioning attitude. An error can be prevented by your intuition sneaking up, nipping you in the behind and asking “why”? That’s a big deal. When medical errors are now the third leading cause of death in the US, being a nurse leader and questioning the status quo, “the way we have always done it”, things that don’t seem right are the pillars of patient safety we rely on you to build. So forge the stone of patient safety by asking why?, advocating, being aware, and speaking up when appropriate.

 

As a nurse leader, one of your most vital jobs is being an educator, preceptor, charge nurse, and mentor. The way I like to precept, or teach is to think “this nurse or nursing student may be caring for my loved ones someday”, and ask myself, “what would I want them to know or to pay close attention to?” My personal career purpose is to inspire, mentor, develop, and empower nurses to be the best they can be. To me this is nurse leadership at its core.

I do not want to simply pass on the torch, but I want to teach the next nurse how to make fire, how to ignite that fire and how to empower that nurse to keep it going through the marathon of their nursing career.

To me, that is measure of success, and hopefully they are still running strong, with that torch burning bright even when I am in my older years, walking into that nurse’s unit or clinic, demanding exceptional care, and having complete faith in that nurse’s abilities, compassion and intent.

Nursing leadership is vital to me, to you, to our beloved family and friends, to our patients, to our resources, to our healthcare delivery system, to our economy, to our philosophy of public health, to our society. Here’s one last humbling thought. Nursing leadership begins with you. Nursing leadership is your ability to provide adequate self-care, your actions behind the closed patient’s door- that no one is watching, and that you must be accountable for your own unwitnessed actions, your decisions in staff meetings, your courage to speak up, your step toward furthering your education, and your mentorship of other nurses.

I will leave you with the words of a historical leader Anne Frank, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

 

~Keep on Caring ♥