Manager

I fought the truth for a while, in fact I even tried to strategically steer my career away from being a “manager”. To many, it’s a dirty word, an aloof position, the middle person between the frontline and the top line and there’s a no win outcome.

The irony is I continued to gravitate towards leadership roles. A natural educator I liked coaching, inspiring, connecting. I think I finally succumbed to my fate leading me path in the path of leadership when I saw the potential great leadership could have for the team, individuals, and in my profession-patients. So I leaned in, I started watching, listening, asking questions. I experimented with what worked, what didn’t, and sometimes I failed. I learned from good and bad examples. The ones that will never leave my conscious are the leaders that let empathy be their moral compass.

A quick litmus test is to watch how a leader reacts when a team member needs time off for a funeral, whether they say it or not you can tell if their first thought is – I’m sorry and I’m here for you or how are we going to cover your absence? I had a leader soon after my grandmother had a stroke, while shortly after passing away didn’t blink and told me “go”. I was able to spend a few days with her while she was still conscious and was able to be with her in the end, and I am forever grateful for that time. Not only the time allotted, but this leader continues to this day even though she is not my boss anymore still applaud me for my milestones and tell me how proud my grandmother would be.

Another leader in my career was so authentic I was able to read her thoughts, and she led from the heart when she would give feedback. Many hate management roles because feedback is hard, but through her I learned to love receiving and giving it. It went against what was expected when she would lean in again with the heart to give feedback and then let the person know they could take the feedback to heart and improve or go tell their peers how wrong she was and how much of a horrible person she was. I watched an entire team grow exponentially with that constant heartfelt feedback and encouragement and could see at the time how transformative this person was to the culture and others professional growth.

There are other countless examples, but in the end I love being a manager a leader a person to confide in and seek guidance. The titles may change overtime, but in authentically leaning into the strengths I personally have, and focusing on the relationships, and the personal and professional growth possible, the teams I do lead now and for the future, and the people I will build trust with will be better off because of empathy. Finally, roles are fluid and relationships change, knowing that I may be coaching my future boss is how I bring even more respect and encouragement to the people I am charged to lead. In closing, to exemplify this…

⁃ One of my boss’s in my career became a member of my team

⁃ One became a colleague

⁃ One became a mentor

⁃ All became a part of who I am now as a leader

Put relationships first, put people first, and they will both transform before you and transcend the time stamp of titles. Lead.

Millennial Murder

Millennials are on trial. You know, those millennials that are the people or often referred to as “kids” born roughly between 1980 and 2000. So slam the gavel, settle in, we are about to begin a case in murder. Instead of an accusation of killing fellow mankind, millennials are accused of killing things, industry, social norms. The victims? Here are but a few:

1. The movie business
2. Napkins
3. Class
4. Vacation
5. Bar soap
6. Relationships
7. Home Depot
8. Running
9. Cereal
10. The 9-5 workday
11. The NFL
12. The Oil Industry
13. Diamonds
14. Retailers
15. The Suit
16. Crowd funding
17. American Dream
18. Canadian Tourism
19. Democracy
20. The Focus Group
21. Banks

SOURCE: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ahmedaliakbar/millennial-murder-spree?utm_term=.po78mXljY#.sc0LRvome

Vultures! Who would be so cruel to kill bar soap and napkins? (Truth: I don’t use either, so you better handcuff me too). There’s a few things I see here…comedy, scapegoating, and opportunity! Opportunity, you say? But this generation can’t be stopped, they have a mind of their own, a culture of smart phones, technology, transient lives and undefined values and inescapable stubbornness, what opportunity lies within that argument?

 

I offer a defense.

        In a generation that refuses to be told exactly what to do, that challenges the social norms and the cemented materialistic driven economy, I see a path for new ideas, creativity and innovation.

 

I also offer some evidence. In my line of work, the millennial workforce are hired with caution, with a hope that they will stay for more than 1 or 2 years in the same job, but the anticipation that they will move on quickly to somewhere else. Often, millennial will seek higher paying jobs, and refuse to stay in an area who doesn’t provide continuing growth.

 

Forgive them please for putting on their oxygen mask on first, before putting it on the organization or society that mocks them.

 

Ironically, PEW research offered that the generation before millennials, Gen X, during their tenure at a workplace would leave even sooner than the villainized generation.

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/04/19/millennials-arent-job-hopping-any-faster-than-generation-x-did/ft_17-04-17_millennialjobtenure/

 

Also, those transient millennials are often accused of moving all over the pace. Data again from PEWS research says otherwise:

 

SOURCE: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/02/13/americans-are-moving-at-historically-low-rates-in-part-because-millennials-are-staying-put/ft_17-02-07_millennial-mobility_1/

The prosecution? Times Magazine published an article entitled, “Millennials: The Me Me Me generation”. They wrote “Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40% believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance” (Stein, 2013).

 

Ouch. Those participation trophies as children seem directly blamed for their correlation with career entitlement? Hmmm…Let’s also note that a promotion usually leads to a pay increase, which at lower rates of pay now a days following an economy crash, and climbing tuition costs and never ending tuition debt, cannot possibly be reasons of why a millennial worker who stayed in the same position for more than a year would ask for more money, with work more experience?

 

Also, there are books, YouTube videos and seminars advising companies how to deal with Millennial workers who e-mail the CEO of the company directly “Because millennials don’t respect authority, they also don’t resent it.” (Stein, 2013). There’s a term for demanding that leadership respond to the ideas and existence of its workers…transparent leadership, teamwork, and a valued employee. If millennials are demanding transparency in companies and industries, so they can see value in themselves and the work they do because of the mound of participation trophies they received in their youth and the imbalance of salary to tuition debt ratio, that generations before them allowed to grow wild…shame on them, right?

Seminar THAT.

SOURCE:http://time.com/247/millennials-the-me-me-me-generation/

As a self-disclosed millennial (gasp!) who doesn’t use bar soap or napkins, rarely goes to the movies or eats cereal I say don’t count this generation out too soon. I’m excited, as this generation grows into its own with creative solutions to global warming, inequality, social injustice, and a failing healthcare system.

So go ahead, accuse us of being murders…

 …….but watch us become mothers to new ideas & innovation, nurses and healers to complex problems, and leaders of a value system that yes values individuality and self-worth in order to conquer the demoralized worth and value of society in chaos….

The jury is still out…

~Keep on Caring ♥

Got Purpose?

~This blog post is dedicated to Norma Terrill, my grandmother, my inspiration~

My grandmother passed away shortly ago. Ever since, I have been thinking about life, death and the space in-between. My grandmother is a guiding light in my life and career. I wrote a poem at her memorial service, and would like to humbly share to help others understand her life, and the inspiration for pieces of my own….

Morning sun, early dawn dew

Norma’s up baking, dishes done too

A calming smile shines on her face

In her own time, going at nature’s pace

Out in the garden, whistling and weeding

At afternoon’s break, she’s reclined and reading

Taking a pause, embracing Elmwood’s enchanting glory

There’s no doubt that our beloved Norma lived a great story

No dragon slaying, or great fortunes of gold

 Yet, kindness and love were carefully sowed

Laughter and care from the water pail flowed

Over the seeds of relationships piled in mounds

Then something miraculous peppered the grounds

Family and friends sprouted full in color

They rose, they grew, they supported one another

They took a moment to face to the sun

And thanked nature and God for sharing such a special one

Although gone in body, we are never alone

For look at all the love she has sown

We will continue to see her in various ways

From a dragonfly to the sun’s rays

 An owls hoot, or music a spring bird plays

We honor her memory in all that we do

A life well lived, sharing life’s lessons too,

Here’s to you gram, we all love you.

 

I did my best to capture her spirit in words, but no many how many I put down on paper, I will never be able to do it justice. I was captured by her kindness. She rarely spoke ill of anyone if at all, she would just do things without complaining, like dishes and gardening ect. And I knew inherently that she was loved fiercely and widely by many, but it caught me in awe when the church that I had visited all my childhood years, echoing in low attendance was filled to the brim. Every single row. Not out of courtesy either. People who came were touched, inspired, impacted by her kind soul, humble nature, and heart of pure gold.

 

Like I said, this made me wonder about life. It’s just like her too, giving me simple lessons along the way, not having to tell me they were lessons or using words to do so. So here we go…

 

I reflected how easy it is to get swallowed up by the mirage of “success”. Whether that be by getting married, buying a house and having children, or reaching a promotion in your career. We are but a fish in the sea of ladder rungs in societal success. It is easier to swim in the same direction as the school of them. Yet, going against the current is creativity.

 

Life isn’t tasks to complete, bills to pay, things to get. We all know this, but how many of us live it?

 

As I read my grandmother’s eulogy and felt the warmth of every person there I realized that life is about the relationships. Not just saying that because it’s what we should say, but living it. Each day I wake up with a renewed purpose. I seek to form or strengthen relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and continuously make small improvements personally and professionally.

 

When my grandmother was passing away, people flooded her room to say goodbye to her. I spent time with her relatives, and friends. He sister told me stories of them as kids, and how they would be involved in the community, and would go to a meeting, and their mother would say “Just don’t run for the board”, and my grandma would come back elected president and her sister treasurer. She did what needed to be done to help others.

 

In college, I took a “Death & Dying” class, it was lively. Ha. Anything? Okay, well what I gleamed from that class is that so many of us are afraid of death, even to talk of it. During the class assignments, we planned our own funeral. Morbid? Yes. Humbling? Very much so.

 

However, I argue that people are more afraid to live. Truly live. To take risks. To cross the line of possibility. My grandmother inspired me to do so. If as if she knew I would need wisdom from her to carry on her legacy, and build my own, to truly live life to the fullest and get every loving ounce squeezed out of it…in her address book she would cut out newspaper clippings, so as she would flip through while doing Christmas cards, she would get a nice surprise, or a reminder of a recipe, or of an honor roll announcement from one of her grandchildren. My mom shared that she had a poem in there and it was titled “Grandma’s Pearls of Wisdom”. It is a familiar poem,  and realizing that she left me a poem as I left her one, to help me carry on, live on, have purpose, I accept the challenge.

 

To My Granddaughter…

Grandma’s

Pearls of Wisdom

By Becky Netherland

I’ve traveled paths you’ve yet to walk

Learned lessons old and new

And now this wisdom of my life

I’m blessed to share with you

Let kindness spread like sunshine

Embrace those who are sad

Respect their dignity, give them joy

And leave them feeling glad

Forgive those who might hurt you

And though you have your pride

Listen closely to their viewpoint

Try to see the other side

Walk softly when you’re angry

Try not to take offense

Invoke your sense of humor

Laughter’s power is immense!

Express what you are feeling

Your beliefs you should uphold

Don’t shy away from what is right

Be courageous and be bold

Keep hope right in your pocket

It will guide you day by day

Take it out when it is needed

When it’s near, you’ll find a way

Remember friends and family

Of which you are a precious part

Love deeply and love truly

Give freely from your heart

The world is far from perfect

There’s conflict and there’s strife

But you still can make a difference

By how you live your life

And so I’m very blessed to know

The wonders you will do

Because you are my granddaughter

And I believe in you

~Keep on Caring ♥

A Nurse’s Balance: Work and Life

A Nurse’s Balance:

Work and Life 

She comes home exhausted, a blank, far stare

Twelve hours of work, Twelve hours of care

Her feet are swollen from the miles paced

Insurmountable odds the patient faced

Drips, drops, and drains

Stretching skills and brains

Orders checked twice

Measurements precise

Not forgetting the person

Whose body seems to worsen

An art and a science intertwine

Seeing both their passion and IV line

Dripping with medicine’s greatest advances

Yet, family uncured from their stolen chances

She prepares pain meds, through syringes she gives

And despite her wisdom, she hopes he lives

She delivers her shoulder to all who need

A tender gesture, the family concedes

She watches the monitor. He gives his last breath

She watches the family, grieving his death

The family leaves; and with dignity she bathes

His body with soap, his soul with faith

Her shift is over, she is startled by a sound

Her gaze shifts as her toddler runs around

She is home in comfort, but her mind aloft

Brought back into the present, her baby’s hair so soft

She tucks him into bed, and kisses him goodnight

Tomorrow is another day she whispers to moonlight

This nurse is up again at early dawn,

A new patient to care for, with a smile on

She braces herself to take on the day

Missing her son, and grieving the patient from yesterday.

The Invisible Wall in Nursing

Ask a nursing student what specialty they want to go into in freshman year, and most of them will say, “I don’t know yet”. Ask a nursing student what specialty they want to go into senior year, and they will tell you, “ICU, Pediatrics, L&D, Oncology” and it is fascinating to watch them stand taller when uttering this and say all they reasons that the area they are going into is better than the next and how they could never go into the others. Proud, yes! Segregating, also yes.

Almost all of them are going to start in a hospital setting, whether they want to or not. Yet, many new graduate nurses, there is a shared perception that “med surg” is a holding cell, a period at work frozen, a stepping stone for a higher rung in the ladder of where they are “meant to be”.

Pause.

Let me tell you about medical surgical nursing. I have worked with some of the most well rounded nurses in knowledge, skills and critical thinking. Their work flow isn’t heavily flooded with technology, their patient ratios are higher and they often work with many sub specialties. Consequently, these nurses form some super sweet skills in communication, coordination, time management and creativity. So, nursing students all around, please don’t turn a blind eye to medical surgical nursing, because it isn’t the “sexy” specialty to work in.

At the same time, I get it. ICU is cool. There is so much technology, and often it is enticing because it is a different type of nursing where you dive in to pathophysiology, where every little change in rate can plummet a BP faster than you know, where patients are in this in-between of life and death, and your efforts and knowledge as a nurse are lassoing them back to our realm on earth. The ICU can be stressful, humbling and devastating. ICU nurses, are so knowledgeable, fast to respond, and have a unique outlook on life, and cherish their time here on earth even more. 

Other specialties like Pediatrics, Labor & Delivery, OR nursing, Oncology, Home Care, Rehab, Long Term Care & the ED can have their own strengths and weaknesses as well. Ask any nurse who works there.

 

I also urge nursing students to think outside of the box. Personally, I did. When I went to nursing school, I worked to get my LNA and worked in home care – I absolutely loved it. I applied for my LPN, and then started working at a camp for children and adults with disabilities. And when I graduated with my BSN, I didn’t beam over to a hospital job, I continued to earn my MSN, while completing a graduate certificate program – LEND , teaching me leadership, clinical and advocacy for children with disabilities, at the same time I worked in a group home for adults with disabilities. This makes me unique in my story, and when anyone asks my journey to how I arrived at  where I am today, it is not a cookie cutter comeback. Take that social norms! At the same time, when I did wind myself towards the hospital setting, I was nervous because I was starting in the hospital later than others, and I had home care experience, and to fit in I will self-admit that I chirped the pediatric nursing pride.

Pride is great, but when it leads to elitism and degrading others’ specialty and purpose, that is problematic to our nursing profession and culture.

With early separation, each new graduate nurse takes an invisible brick and builds a wall. After passing the NCLEX and orienting to the unit, statistically the first year as new graduate nurses, we are more focused on socializing and fitting in than clinical content. If they don’t continue to take the invisible bricks and complain about the ED for not documenting an IV insertion, or the sister unit taking the float again when all they do is obviously “sit around and do nothing” …they are alienated from the group.

If they don’t join in the blame game, or voice frustrations with the other units, the new nurse will have a great fall from the invisible wall. You can bet without being accepted into the social circle for refusing to complain, they will look to leave that unit as soon as that 1 year finish line is in sight.

         My hands are up, waving for your attention, because I am talking about a concrete, foundational solution to nursing retention. 

Demolish the invisible wall. Take down the silos, the towers of service lines. What’s our purpose? To make our community a healthier one. That purpose takes pediatrics, cardiology, emergency medicine, rehabilitation, long term care, ambulatory clinics, home care and more.

           We are all important, and part of the healthcare puzzle, and when a piece of the puzzle is missing, our purpose is incomplete. Is anything but a completed purpose, worthwhile?

Over my years, I heard the literature on horizontal or lateral bullying amongst nursing and it is alarming. Yet, this subtle tribal segregation, potentiates the undercurrent of this phenomenon. If we accept that it is okay to degrade another area of care, or the work that happens there, it creeps towards the line of making it okay to do the same for a co-worker on your unit, and that co-worker could do the same to you.

            I refuse to work in an environment that is anything but supportive. Constructive, yes…with difficult conversations, yes. But, with the assumption that everyone is trying to do the best that they can to contribute to a larger purpose.

When our physician colleagues have a question with a patient about a specialty outside of their expertise, what do they do?

The get a specialty consult. They don’t try to solve the issue on their own, they don’t puff out their chest in elitism within their own specialty and assume that they are all knowingly almighty, and that all other specialties are subpar. Most of the time. Nursing needs to change. Get an informal nursing consult when you have a question. Change your work environment.

          There are so many things as a nurse you don’t have control over. One thing I assure you we all have, is control over your work environment. If you don’t like something, work to change it not to complain it.

So, I challenge you. I challenge you at the conclusion of Nurses Week 2017.

• When you are tempted to comment on another area in nursing, ask yourself if you are complimenting or complaining.
• When you have a patient on your floor or area, and their diagnosis is more common in another area – initiate a nursing consult, give that area a ring. This shows that you respect their expertise, and by asking for their help you open the door for them to reciprocate.
• Give a shout out to the care area your patient came from when they have done something exceptionally well.

Foster this collaboration and collegiality in the new nurses. Foster this in ourselves.

Together, we are stronger than apart. Together we unite in purpose. Our individualized strengths and passions make us unique to innovate, advocate and change healthcare.

Think about it. Nurses are in the ICU, Schools, Medical Surgical floors, Forensics, OR, Pediatrics, Clinics, Legislature, Labor & Delivery, Universities, Public health offices, Law firms, Oncology, Infusion Suits, Homes, Cardiology, Quality Improvement, Courtrooms, Boardrooms, Psychiatry, Addiction Centers, Information Technology, Care Management, Wound Care, Nurse Practitioner Clinics, Business, Radiology, Cruise Ships, Long term care, Rehabilitation, and so much more. We are pervasive in all aspects of human interaction. We influence so many people, by virtue of just having the honor to connect.

Think about how loud a voice of 3 million strong would be? Nurses in all areas of healthcare make a difference. Yet, it will take us all to crumble the bricks of the invisible walls, and instead weave a network of respect, consultation and advocacy.

~ Keep on Caring ♥

Adventure Awaits in Authenticity

Adventure awaits beyond the confines of your thoughts. It is easy, and simple to go about life in a cause-and-effect ride down one path that is fairly predictable. If I do this, I will get that. If I torture myself to achieve this, I may come out the other side happier. Yet, at night our brain awakens and connects with our heart and soul, rushing through possibilities, what ifs and why nots.

        When that happens to me…when my dreams are aligned with my soul, I feel at peace. At the same time I feel alive & free and vibrant. Free from oppression of assimilated thought, culture and achievement. Free from a set destiny lacking alternate possibilities and pathways.

         Now believe me I am not saying to neglect hard work and working to triumph over obstacles, and pathways that are the foundation of possibility. Quite the contrary; I propose to align your life with your dreams and passions, and work for it. Watch truth prevail and intoxication for life manifest before your very eyes. Watch choices become clearer. Watch new like-minded friends surface. Watch yourself transform into your truly authentic self.

       Be true to yourself and all that you are. Let go of fictitious versions of you. When the unique intricacies of your personality emerge; all who interface with you will see the difference. Too often our nooks and valleys of what makes us different are sanded down into a fine dust and brushed away. But behold the shine when light is reflected on the peaks and depths of your personality! It is art, it is life, it is uniquely and authentically you.

UNH White Coat Speech

I wanted to share the ‘abbreviated’ speech I shared with the UNH sophomore nursing students this Friday….

Good evening & Congratulations! As a nursing and wildcat Alumni, I am honored and excited to share my insights and journey with you tonight.

 

As I walked here tonight, I thought about how to sum up nursing school in less than 10 minutes. I thought about asking Professor Puccilli for an extension, so get comfortable, we will be here for the next 5 hours!

 

So I want to tell you a quick story about my first ever clinical day. My nursing classmates and I were so excited, and nervous….we couldn’t sleep the night before. We thought let’s document this moment in our lives to remeber forever…and so we get to the hospital, meet out clinical instructor, she leads us to the locker room and leaves us to go check on assignments. We are welcomed by one of the first staff members we see, the housekeeper. So, we ask her to please take our picture and we then went on to clinical, had a great day! We get home and look at the picture….and here it is….

 

And this is how nursing school goes…. sometimes things aren’t clear, sometimes it’s just a fuzzy memory, but what will be clear is the wonderful, unforgettable people you meet along the way. Like the housekeeper that takes time out of her day to take your picture or your professor who turns into a mentor, or friends who turn into family.

I am grateful for the professors at UNH that had high expectations for myself and my nursing practice, because the end game, or the reaching the summit of patient care was worth the hours studying, the multiple choice select all that apply tests, and the simulation lab scenarios.

UNH Nursing has laid that foundation of my journey after nursing school. Yet, there will be a time where you aren’t being graded, judged, structurally supported. You will be on a night shift, when the majority of people are asleep, and you will have to rely on what you have learned, how well you know your resources, and your critical thinking skills.

And I ask you this….do the right thing, and exhibit integrity.

Scrub the hub of the IV for the prescribed amount of time, even with no one looking, because if not it could lead to a CLABSI, which could lead to sepsis and increased healthcare spending. Turn the immobile patient every 2 hours, even at night, because extra pressure could create a pressure ulcer, leading to longer hospital days, and delay healing.

 

Having integrity is doing the right thing despite praise, gratitude or recognition. 

 

As you begin this part of your nursing journey, and you receive your white coat….I challenge you to also….

 

Coat yourself with curiosity. Ask why? Don’t take the answer, “we always do it this way”. Think outside the airway box. Yes, you can most of the time bring it back to airway, breathing, circulation…but question what else is going on? Investigate possibilities. Be independent thinkers in the sea of policies & protocols. Advocate for evidence. Never stop wondering. Conduct research. Step into the deep and away from the shore, outside of your comfort zone and familiarity. Healthcare needs you now more than ever for your possibilities and ideas.

 

 

Coat yourself with resources. Find that Professor, that Clinical Instructor, that nurse, who will celebrate and elevate your successes and help you with your areas to work on….You don’t need to know it all, but you do need to know where to find the answer. Navigating this career takes a compass…and sometimes it is broken….so trust me when I say you need someone who has traversed this very course.

 

 

Finally, Coat yourself with passion. Find what sets your soul on fire. Take this time in your education to test your flint – test what will spark this passion. Remember that someone else’s path might not ignite your own. Use rejections as kindling. Build that flame of possibility until the heat is felt by those around you. Because when you are living your passion your warmth, your inspiration will spread like wildfire to your family and friends, your coworkers, your future students…. but most of all the patients, who are the ultimate source of your passion and why you chose to go into nursing.

 

Thank you and congratulations.

Navigating Change

 

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer

 

Change is hard. Change is terrifying.

Change is invigorating. Change is refreshing. Change creates possibilities.

 

Change is the only thing we have in this life that is constant. Down to our biological core. There are about 50 to 75 trillion cells in your body, and each type of cell has their own cycle. Each day, our cells are replacing themselves, growing, moving….in a continual state of change. So if this is a biological certainty, why do we feel so uncertain in any manifestation of change?

 

We fear the unknown, and the possibility that the change will be for the worse, despite the promise of it being for the better.

 

Young nurses often come to reflect that, “I have known each year after the other what I am supposed to do. Work to get good grades, move on to the next grade. Go to high school, go to college. Now I am in my first job, and there’s many years ahead of me without a path laid out”.

New graduate nurses once aboard their first nursing job, come to a point when the storm calms just enough for them to gaze upon the blue abyss of their careers and lives, and they ponder the possibilities and paradoxically think of the opportunities for success and the pathways for stagnation.  

 

Starving for change, yet seasick at the thought, we find our compass somewhere along the way and ride the waves, while still navigating sometimes turbulent waters. At the typical age that new graduate nurses are moving into the workforce, many are moving to an apartment for the first time on their own, paying rent and other bills, having to cook without causing the smoke detector to go off. Some are getting married, ending or starting new relationships. Throw that all into the sea, with a new job, new environment, new practice area, and it’s a wonder they are able to stay afloat.

Yet, as in old world navigation, they can find their way amongst the constellations. Finding constants in life, helps to anchor you amongst chaos.

 

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn

 

Over the years, I have found my stars to help me navigate. Not to say that my course has been smooth sailing. In fact, if it had I wouldn’t be the person I have worked to be today. There have been days where I have cried, days when I have questioned my courses chosen, days when I have doubted myself and my abilities. Yet what I have discovered, is to accept the things that are beyond my control. Seasons will change, for that I am grateful as it helps me to appreciate the beauty of change. The wind will blow, and try as I might I cannot change the direction. What I can do is find my values and charge them as my compass in life.

By grounding myself in values, life will flow through me and around me. People will come and go, places will be long past, feelings will fade, but my values will last. I choose to hold respect, integrity, creativity, autonomy, mentorship, and compassion as my north star, so that no matter the circumstance or the waves of change, as long as I continue to live an authentic life with those values in mind, then I will continue on my course of inner peace and congruency.

My advice, for what it is worth, in the tornado of change, whether that be within your family, your place of work, your community or the world at large….find you north star. Find the values that you can act in accordance with, to bring you internal peace and perhaps will permeate outward peace for your family your place of work, your community and the world. So let the blustery wind fill your sails, and let the tumultuous waves move you forward as you navigate the waters of change by finding your north star.

 

 

When Life Throws a Change-Up

When Life Throws a Change-Up

Growing up, I played extremely competitive softball. I was on teams with players who went on to play college, and from age 10-16 we traveled to national and world championships. It was intense! One of my strengths was hitting. However, my teammates would laugh at me when I would get thrown a change-up. A change-up is a pitched ball that all of a sudden, without warning is thrown and it is slow. It’s unlike any other pitches, but it is deceptive as the pitcher still winds up as fast as they can to throw it. I hated change-ups. I would swing at the same speed that I would for fast pitches, expect the same results and be wildly disappointed and sometimes embarrassed. Retrospectively, this is a perfect way to explain life changes, and all the little change-ups that are pitched to you during your career, or day to day life.

To exemplify this, I would like to share a story about how my nursing career began, or almost didn’t. If you are a nurse or know a nurse, you are familiar with the acronym; NCLEX. If not, this is the national exam that all nurse hopefuls must take and pass in order to receive their RN license. When I was a senior in college, I had this brilliant idea to choose a test center that was out of state, but still would give a NH license, so that way I wouldn’t see any peers who might make me nervous seeing them nervous. Also, I planned ahead to have my mom and my then fiancé, now husband to drive with me…they were in the ones in my corner, my coaches, my positive presence I needed. So we took my mom’s mini-van. Now it was smooth sailing, because the way to the center was on the highway and the exit was just up ahead as a left-hand side exit….

ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CAR WOULDN’T ACCELERATE PAST 40 MPH, AND THERE WAS SMOKE.

Despite that the car wouldn’t go past 40 mph, inside my head went from 0 to 60mph fast. “I’m not going to make it”, “My job offer depends on me passing in a certain amount of time, now I won’t have a job”, “Everyone is going to pass but me”, “Even if I make it there I am too stressed now to take it”, “Ohhhhhh noooooooo”! What came out of my mouth was silence. My husband recognized this fearful silence and was reassuring, telling me that we were almost there, and that we had planned plenty of time, so it will be fine.

Sure enough, as he finished reassuring me, we saw that exit on the left hand side. We put our flashers on and carefully moved the car to the left, as the 65mph cars whizzed past. We were the change-up, but we at least had the decency to warn other cars. In my head I screamed, “future nurse in the making people, watch out!”.

We made it off the highway and pulled into a fast-food parking lot. We mapped the test center on the GPS and it was a little under 2 miles. The car once stopped wouldn’t restart now anyways.

So, I walked to my NCLEX.

 

My husband escorted me to my test and wished me luck. Ironically, I think the exercise before the test helped me calm down, and got the blood flowing to my brain. I took the test, was fairly confident in my answers, and obviously I passed.

 

Life has thrown me more change-ups then a broken car on the way to the NCLEX. Nursing has thrown my 3 admissions within one hour, a patient declining when they had plans to go home, missing medications when they are due, a pump that won’t stop beeping, a family that is unhappy and stressed about the condition of their child, and so much more, and so much worse. Yet, despite the facts that change-ups are unpleasant, or that I would prefer the same-old paced pitches of life….they will come. I have accepted that fact. It doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but it intellectually makes it feasible. Expect the unexpected, although there are too many variables in healthcare and human beings to truly be fully prepared to “expect” with 100% truth what will be pitched next. So many new nurses, and students will tell me “I planned my day and had all of my priorities, but I didn’t expect this to happen, and I didn’t expect my plans to not go as well in real life as they did in my head”. It took me a while to be comfortable with having a sense of open expectations, to realize that it’s good to have a framework, but I couldn’t rely on false expectations.

Maybe you won’t hit those change-ups out of the park. Maybe you might even strike out. In the end, and in your life…you have a team around you to pick you up, to cheer for you so that the next time you can get on base. Look that pitcher of life event in the eye, be confident in your abilities, be confident in your resilience, and always know that your team has your back.

~Keep on Caring ♥

 

Nursing Leadership

Recently, I attended a nursing leadership conference (1^st Annual Dartmouth Hitchcock Nursing Leadership Conference). It was awe inspiring to be filled with a room full of nurses who wanted to learn about leadership and how to improve themselves. It excites me when others want to change, and are humble in their reflection that something needs to change.

 

This blog will be about what I “took home” from the conference, and how despite the inspiration, there is still a personal leadership journey in progress. The day started off great, and one of the key points I took was that it was vital to network and to introduce yourself. I’m listening to this advice thinking to myself, “Great! That’s such a vital piece of nursing – networking! I can’t wait to begin”. So what did I do the first break we got? Ran to the bathroom, and then sat back down. I ran right back to that seat, as if someone was going to take my seat in a sea of 200 people and was going to make me sit on the stage or leave the conference. So I checked my phone, looked at my notes, and giggled at the reminder, ‘network’ that I had written down.  Okay, let’s do this! The first group I went to, I had known through my career, and I exchanged some pearls such as “This is just great!”, “Sooo many nurses!”, and “Wow, the weather”. Good one. Nothing says, I am awkward in forced social settings than talking about the weather. I frequently have this dream sequence I play in my head about how I would love to come across as humorous, intelligent, experienced and smooth…. which if I believe these descriptions, they will come to life, but for now I just try to improve.  I vow to get better at this, as in the weather conversation will be banned from my networking repertoire during the next meeting or conference I attend! Baby steps! In all honesty, it was great advice.

Nurses are powerful people, and when you are able to connect those spheres or silos of power – amazing things happen, and insurmountable feats can be overcome.

Self care was a theme woven throughout the day. Why would a conference about leadership include self care? I’ve talked about this before, but you cannot give 100% if you are running on -40%.

Burnout is an ugly dragon, that rears its ugly head despite the fact that you are a good nurse. That fire breathing beast can only be tamed with self awareness and self care.

Put that life jacket on yourself first, before you help others. Don’t roll your eyes because you’ve heard that before and you feel like you still might put it on someone else despite the repetition of this phrase. Take the vacation you need, prioritize exercise, take your 30-minute lunch, listen to rap music…. whatever it takes to battle the burnout dragon, do it before you’re burnt to a crisp, and leave a profession that needs you and your leadership.

Language and communication make a leader. As a nurse, stand tall and let your patient and your family know who you are, and what your role is. You aren’t a passer-by to their care, and you aren’t a servant. What you are is an educated, professional, intelligent, experienced, caring registered nurse who is going to be caring for a patient and their family today. Also, let’s stop demoting the nursing profession, and talking positive. It’s not a badge of honor you get to stick on your badge that what you do is tough work when you tell a nursing student to “run” or to “get out while you can”. No. Nursing is a fantastic career choice. You have options from bedside nursing, to informatics, to education, to preventive care, to everything and anything in-between. In fact, that nursing student may have jumped through some hoops to make it to the point that they are at, yet your remark makes them question everything.

Let us challenge each other not to dissuade the future of healthcare, our critical thinkers, decision makers, clinical champions, but let us revive this comradery spirit in nursing and congratulate those who are about to join us, for joining the best career in the world.

 

           

Patient care and the impact nursing leadership can have on quality outcomes was also a theme. I cannot explain this better than to offer that to be the best nurse leader you can be, to always have a questioning attitude. An error can be prevented by your intuition sneaking up, nipping you in the behind and asking “why”? That’s a big deal. When medical errors are now the third leading cause of death in the US, being a nurse leader and questioning the status quo, “the way we have always done it”, things that don’t seem right are the pillars of patient safety we rely on you to build. So forge the stone of patient safety by asking why?, advocating, being aware, and speaking up when appropriate.

 

As a nurse leader, one of your most vital jobs is being an educator, preceptor, charge nurse, and mentor. The way I like to precept, or teach is to think “this nurse or nursing student may be caring for my loved ones someday”, and ask myself, “what would I want them to know or to pay close attention to?” My personal career purpose is to inspire, mentor, develop, and empower nurses to be the best they can be. To me this is nurse leadership at its core.

I do not want to simply pass on the torch, but I want to teach the next nurse how to make fire, how to ignite that fire and how to empower that nurse to keep it going through the marathon of their nursing career.

To me, that is measure of success, and hopefully they are still running strong, with that torch burning bright even when I am in my older years, walking into that nurse’s unit or clinic, demanding exceptional care, and having complete faith in that nurse’s abilities, compassion and intent.

Nursing leadership is vital to me, to you, to our beloved family and friends, to our patients, to our resources, to our healthcare delivery system, to our economy, to our philosophy of public health, to our society. Here’s one last humbling thought. Nursing leadership begins with you. Nursing leadership is your ability to provide adequate self-care, your actions behind the closed patient’s door- that no one is watching, and that you must be accountable for your own unwitnessed actions, your decisions in staff meetings, your courage to speak up, your step toward furthering your education, and your mentorship of other nurses.

I will leave you with the words of a historical leader Anne Frank, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

 

~Keep on Caring ♥